Sometimes the hardest place to sit as a parent is in the middle.
You know school isn’t working. Your child might be being bullied, burnt out, masking all day, refusing to go to school or simply unravelling in a system that doesn’t seem to fit them. But home education can feel impossible, too. Maybe it doesn’t seem to fit around your current job. Maybe you’re exhausted yourself. Maybe you just don’t feel ready. And maybe the thought of carrying it all yourself is just too much.
If this is where you are, then you might find this blog helpful.
1. Start by seeing how far the school can go
Before making a huge decision like home education, it can be worth asking: have we pushed this school as far as it can realistically go?
If bullying is part of the issue, schools are expected to have measures in place to prevent and tackle it. If the school isn’t responding properly, there is usually a formal complaints route to go down.
If your child is struggling because of SEND, mental health, or unmet needs, it may be worth asking for a meeting, and reviewing what support is actually in place. Be very clear about what is not working and what you think might work.
This won’t fix every school situation, and sometimes schools simply cannot do enough, but it’s important to know you’ve done all you can before making the decision to home educate if it just feels impossible.
2. Changing schools is an option
If the current school is the problem, a different school may be worth exploring.
In England, moving schools during the year is usually done through an in-year application. GOV.UK says you should contact your local council for applications after the school year has started, and Education Hub explains that the process can vary by area and by school type. Some applications go via the local authority, while some schools have their own admission authority and can take direct applications.
This won’t always be quick, and the school you want may not have a place, but it is a real option.
If your child is struggling because the specific school environment is wrong, a different setting can make a huge difference.
3. Flexi-schooling can work for some families
Some families want a middle ground. They don’t want full-time school, but full-time home education feels too much.
That is where flexi-schooling can come in. Flexi-schooling is where you take on home education part=time while your child attends school a few days a week.
However in order to flexi-school, you need the school on board. GOV.UK says that if you want to educate your child at home only some of the time while they still attend school some of the time, the school can refuse. So it really comes down to if your child’s school agrees.
So, if this feels like the right next step for your child, it’s worth speaking with your child’s headteacher and seeing what they say. Just go in knowing that it needs school approval.
4. A bigger move is sometimes part of the answer
This won’t be possible for everyone, but it is worth considering because many families do make this choice.
If the issue is not just one school but the wider local offer, some parents choose to move towns or cities to be closer to better schools, stronger SEND provision, better home education communities or more supportive services.
Moving is obviously a huge decision and not one most families can make lightly, but when you are looking at the bigger picture of your child’s wellbeing, environment and opportunities have a huge impact.
5. Private school is another route, if it is realistic for you
For some families, a private school offers smaller classes, a different culture, or more flexibility. Naturally, this isn’t an option for the majority of families in the country, but it is for some.
If it’s financially possible, it is one of the alternatives worth considering when the current school is causing harm and you’re not quite sure home education is for you.
6. Home education doesn’t have to be forever
Despite what you may be thinking, home education doesn’t have to be forever.
As it currently stands in England, you can deregister your child from school at any point (considering they do not have an EHCP plan or other special arrangements around their education), and the school have to follow procedure. When you send a deregistration email to your child’s school, by law they have to take your child off roll.
Later , if you decide you want your child to return to school, you would usually apply again through the admissions process. However it’s important to note that your child may not get back into the school they previously attended or get the school you choose next.
I think this is really important for parents to hear. Sometimes families need to withdraw their child because the current situation is no longer safe or sustainable. That does not mean you have signed up for one path for the rest of childhood. It may simply mean that your child (and you) need some breathing room before you figure out next steps.
7. Home education can take many forms
Home education is not one thing. It doesn’t have to mean you recreating school at the kitchen table from 9 to 3 (and most home ed families don’t do this).
Some families use tutors. Some use classes and workshops. Some use online provision. Some join home ed groups and build community learning around shared activities. Some take a very child-led approach. Some do a more structured version. Many mix approaches as they go.
So if “home education feels impossible” because you are picturing one very narrow version of it, it might be worth widening the picture before ruling it out completely.
A more helpful question to ask
Instead of asking, can I cope with home education forever? try asking:
- What does my child need right now?
- Is the current school situation fixable?
- Would a different school be a better fit?
- Could flexi-schooling or temporary home education buy us some breathing room?
- What support would make home education feel more possible?
- What can I realistically handle in this season?
Those questions tend to open things up. And when a child is being damaged by school, opening things up matters.
FAQs
Can I change my child’s school during the year in England?
Yes. This is usually done through an in-year application, either through your local council or, in some cases, directly with the school.
Is flexi-schooling a right in England?
No. If you want your child to attend school only some of the time and be educated at home for the rest, the school can refuse.
Can I take my child out of school and home educate temporarily?
You can choose home education and later apply for a school place again through the admissions process. The old place is not guaranteed to be kept open, so it is still a significant decision, but it does not have to mean home education forever.
What should I do if bullying is harming my child?
Report it to the school first. If the school is not handling it properly, there is a formal complaints process.
Conclusion
When school is hurting your child and home education feels impossible, it can feel like you are trapped. But usually there are more options than your panic lets you see.
You may be able to get better support from school. You may be able to change schools. You may be able to try flexi-schooling. You may decide on private school, a move, or a period of home education while you regroup. None of those choices are small, but you do not have to pretend the current situation is acceptable just because the alternative feels daunting.
Sometimes the next right step is not the perfect forever answer. It is simply the one that gives your child more safety, more breathing room, and a better chance to heal.
If you’re still not quite sure if home ed is for you but want to learn more, then access our Free Home Ed Toolkit now. It’s packed with lots of information designed for parents like you who may not be sure where to start.